I would have fired 21 year old me

I was thinking back over my career and the jobs I’ve held and got back to me as a 21 year-old employee. I realized that I would probably fire 21 year-old me. If that me came to interview today I don’t know that I would hire him. I was terribly dressed in what I thought was appropriate office attire, baggy Dickies and baggy plaid shirts...oh yeah and that terrible goatee, and I was always changing my work schedule to accommodate my bodyboarding and snowboarding. I know it was just immaturity but I don’t know if 30 year-old me could tolerate 21 year-old me.

Jesus does tech support

While employed at a previous job, a friend who though being Jewish was obsessed with Jesus, put a Jesus band-aid on my computer. This band-aid was just one of the many Jesus trinkets he had collected. When I left that job I transferred Jesus to my personal laptop. Recently I was showing my mom a few pictures I had taken and while turning my computer around I lost my grip on it, I juggled it momentarily like a drunken street performer until it broke free and crashed to the floor. It landed face down spreading wider than a prostitute’s legs. As I looked down at my pancaked computer I thought, “well we had a good run”, to my surprise when I picked it up it was almost completely unharmed and working just fine. I looked at Jesus staring back at me from his place on the band-aid and thought, “really, did he protect it”?

This wasn’t the first time I saw Jesus work on a computer. At yet another job a friend was having a continuing problem with an error message in a certain program. I did all I could to try and troubleshoot and fix the problem with no success. While balancing my petty cash I came across a dollar bill with a stamp on it that said, "Jesus loves" inside a Jesus fish. I told my friend that she needed some Jesus on her computer and it would fix her problem. I taped the bill to her computer and from that moment on the error stopped.

Next time you are having computer problems put some Jesus on it.

My luck, for posting this, my hard drive will blow up shortly.