Booty, booty, booty, rockin’ everywhere

When someone in Kentucky recommends a place for you to go on a Wednesday night to have fun don’t believe everything you are told, but if you ever find yourself in Louisville on a Wednesday night, you need to make your way to the Phoenix Hill Tavern, because no matter how hard I try to describe it to you, I will never do it justice. I arrived at 11:30pm to promises of two live bands and a booty shakin’ contest but when I walked in the place was almost empty. Phoenix Hill Tavern is a two-story bar/club that very much feels like walking into a horror movie or a fun house at the carnival. The bottom floor has a country karaoke room and the main tavern room, which is decorated to look like an old time tavern or saloon. Upstairs there is the tropical room, covered in fake palm trees and fire pits, along with a small room with couches where you can listen to a guy in a very tight tank top play Weezer covers in a high pitched nasally tone. After discovering that the booty shakin’ contest wasn’t until 1am there was some time to kill and some amazing people watching to do. Slowly people started to show up but the crowd was nothing if not a mixed bag, there were kids in metal band t-shirts, many women well over 300 lbs, some even in the 400+ range, white boys in crooked hats and South Pole shirts, a lot of black lesbians dressed like male rappers, one was the lesbian version of Lil’ Jon, along with some white trash, but what surprised me the most was the AARP crowd. There were several people in the crowd that were well over 60 years old. The first old-timer I saw was a man dancing alone on an empty dance floor to Brick House, there was another woman who was wearing a wig and with what appeared to be her daughter. My favorite was the man that came to be known in my group as “Lester”, this was a black gentleman in his mid to late 50’s, sporting a small afro, polo shirt and polyester pants, and a look on his face that just said “what? I’m here because this is where the bitches is at”.

The Main room remained empty until about 5 minutes before the booty shakin’ contest was about to begin and in that 5 minutes the room filled to capacity with people jockeying for position at the stage. When the contest started there were only 2 participants signed up but as the action got underway more girls joined in on the fun. The topper was when one of the white trash crowd stumbled on to stage completely drunk and flipped upside down in a dress with no underwear on, showing the crowd her coonskin cap.

So if you ever find yourself in Louisville on a Wednesday night find the Phoenix Hill Tavern and enjoy the show.