Perfect American part two

My series on how I am a perfect American continues. I wrote before about when I poured out water because it might have gone bad, showing how wasteful I can be, and thus a perfect example of an American. Well it has happened again, I found myself staring down the barrel of another proud American moment. After removing a microwaveable food item, sign number one, I tried to removed the plastic wrapper. The plastic seared my fingers, I let go. I tried again, same result, burnt fingers, food not opened. This occurred several times before I realized what was happening. I was in such a hurry to eat my microwaveable food item that I couldn’t wait 30 seconds for it to cool down enough to open it. I just burned my fingerprints away like some TV-show criminal. Once it was finally open and I ran cold water over my fingertips, I tasted it, didn’t like it, and tossed it in the trash. After throwing away perfectly good food, because it wasn’t to my liking, I turned, saluted the flag, and sang God Bless America.